“Blessed are those who trust in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord.”    (Jer. 17:7)

Have you ever traveled on the Apocalyptic Train? Most often, when I get on this train, it’s in the middle of the night. I’m lying in bed, and this “end-time” train is taking me to terrible and terrifying places.

When I’m on it, all the mistakes, messes, and sins of my whole life fill my head and heart. Given all I’ve done and not done, given my worry that I’ll probably never get anything right, given my fear that no one would love me if they really knew me, it’s no wonder that I can be traveling to such dark destinations.

For years I called such dark nights my travels on the Apocalyptic Train. For a long time, I wondered if I was alone with such thoughts. When I finally had the courage to share these thoughts in a sermon, I heard from people for weeks. They, too, had ridden on this train and were given a little reassurance that someone else had as well.

I’ve lost so much sleep and peace of mind on this train. I’ve worried about things that weren’t real or sensible or remotely true.

In the last few years, I’ve received encouragement when I realized that the one who throws the coal into this train’s engine was myself. I’ve been given even more encouragement when I remembered, held fast, and even visualized that the one who’s running the train of my life isn’t me—it’s the Good Lord.

Here’s today’s encouragement. First, if you’ve ever traveled on this train, be reassured that you aren’t alone. Second, because you’re the one who throws the coals into the furnace, please just stop. Third, if you trust in the Lord, then let Him be the Engineer. With God in control, trust that whatever dark places you dream up aren’t the blessed places the Lord intends to take you.

Reflection Questions:

1. What are some of the dark places your own Apocalyptic Train has taken your mind or heart to?

2. Like me, you are the one who fuels the progress towards the darkness. What would it take for you to stop fueling your travels to some really bad places?

3. If you always remembered and trusted that God is your Engineer and Lord, how would your life change?